bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
