So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
