i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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