defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
