i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is there bacon in the couch?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
