I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
