I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize