Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Mom said you looked used
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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