I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
