To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
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My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
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i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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