Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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