Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
