508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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