Is it because I queefed?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
