I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
