hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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