the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation