yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
this is an emotional support booty call
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
