We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
