I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
is it fun? or sober?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
