i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
