I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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