your parents love me but you hate me
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize