no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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