you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
