Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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