pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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