What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Damn victory sex feels great
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
