Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
