Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
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The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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