I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
