She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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