The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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