she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
