I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I am morally bankrupt
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
