I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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