doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
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I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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