i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
