The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize