I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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