I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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