I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
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i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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