i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
