i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
