I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
