And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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