So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
