So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
