Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize