I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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