just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
