It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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