Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
