Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
