We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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