Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
