There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
