you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She bit a glass in half.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
