He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
