It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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